i just had sex bonerless
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
me + whiskey = a bad person
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
