Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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