She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
