Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
