A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
