we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
