PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
