i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
