Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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