Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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