There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
