Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
