sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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