she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
