Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
