yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
