Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
