nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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