So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dicks are not precious.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
