i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I hope mine doesn't look like that
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
