Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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