I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
