Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
