Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
