He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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