We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
