cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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