Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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