whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
