When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
