Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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