dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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