My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
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