Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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