you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
