would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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