Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
