Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
