Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
