people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
