The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
