I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
