Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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