I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
