he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
