I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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