we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Randomize
