dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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