I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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