Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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