If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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