Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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